I thought I would talk about my wife.
We have been married for 5 years, and I have grown to love her all the more over time. She has not only proved to be a great wife, but a great person as well. My wife has a huge heart, and she is full of love and compassion for me and for others. She has also been very loyal to me, and although there were many times I deeply hurt her and been a crummy husband, she stuck right by my side. She is someone who loves God very much and wants to raise godly children. She is a very good mom to our son. She not only makes sure that he is fed and healthy, but takes time to say little prayers with him and teach him little things. He is very blessed to have a mom who loves him so much. She is no doubt very beautiful on the outside, but also on the inside as well. While no one is perfect, I know that God is very happy with the person she has become, as I am. I don't know that many people who are as pure in heart as my wife. Sure, we all get mad and upset with people, but there is very little in her that holds animosity toward anyone.
It is said that when we meet God in heaven, that we are accountable to Him for how we treat our spouse (as well as other people). If our spouse is difficult, we get rewarded all the more if we are still loving to that person. I can't see myself getting that many rewards because I have it pretty easy. So many times I feel that I don't deserve her, but I know we were meant to be together since she is perfect for me. I do feel like she is my other half, that she brings sunshine into parts of my life that would otherwise be dark.
Anyway, I don't talk about my personal life very often, but I do want people to know what a wonderful wife I have. I can only hope that I remain thankful for the blessing God has given me and come close to treating her how she should be treated.
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Family. Show all posts
Thursday, October 02, 2008
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
The media's view of the American Dad, real and ideal
Who says you can't learn anything from Hollywood?
Watching TV and movies we see a portrayal of the average dad. This may provide insight into how many dads are viewed and/or what makes the ideal father.
In most TV shows the husband/dad is portrayed as a bumbling idiot. Look at King of Queens, Everybody Loves Raymond, and The Simpsons. The dad is usually incompetent and inconsiderate of his wife's feelings. He is always the one that screws everything up. That is just how it is.
It seems to be different in the movies, however, and perhaps that is because of the style of storytelling that tends to work towards a resolution, both in events and character; whereas a TV show things tend to stay the same. At the beginning, the dad is someone to tied up into his work, ignores his family, and tends to pursue money as opposed to higher ideals. Let's look at the movies RV and the modern version of The Shaggy Dog.
In RV, the dad is having problems with his job, and he isn't exactly commanding respect from his kids. He finally faces a dilemma near the end of the movie, in which he has a choice of commercial success or staying true to his values.
In The Shaggy Dog, the dad is similar, but more extreme. He is pursuing success in his job, but all the while somewhat neglecting his wife, and he is not involved in his son and daughter's lives whatsoever. The son is pretending to play football to make his dad happy, while secretly practicing for a play. The dad, Tim Allen's character, is at odds with his daughter concerning a clash of values. When the dad transforms into a dog, however, he gets a sneak peek into his children's lives. He transforms from a workaholic dad to a great family man who shares the values of his daughter.
I think in movies and TV we may get a glimpse of the American Dad archetype (I suppose this could be any dad, but I really just watch American TV and movies). (I hope archetype is the right word, correct me if not) In the movies, he is a workaholic father and may only be involved in the children's lives to the extent that he urges them to get good grades or, in the case of a son, be a man's man and play football or the like. His primary concern is his career, and the family is really secondary.
Interestingly enough, the TV representation in some sense, is the opposite. Instead of being ambitious and successful, he has little motivation at all. We don't see this so much in the Raymond character, but in King of Queens, The Simpsons. But the attitude towards the family is still not overwhelmingly positive. It is primarily one of indifference, although not the degree of neglect seen in the movies.
These are just observations I've made. In TV, there's not really much redemption concerning the father character; the father character is not motivated to be an active father, and he realizes that, and he accepts that, and the family accepts that. Movies are more positive, however, we see how some fathers are, but we also get a glimpse of how fathers should be. Men need to take note of these characters. Society wants fathers that are not tied up in their job, who love their wives, who are involved in their children's lives beyond the disciplinarian role, and who shares values that aren't compromised by the outside world. I think God wants the same thing. I would add this though. At the same time, I believe the wife/mother has a responsibility to ensure that the dad is still respected, even if he is not perfect. But the overall message is clear; be there for your family, don't just be the breadwinner.
Watching TV and movies we see a portrayal of the average dad. This may provide insight into how many dads are viewed and/or what makes the ideal father.
In most TV shows the husband/dad is portrayed as a bumbling idiot. Look at King of Queens, Everybody Loves Raymond, and The Simpsons. The dad is usually incompetent and inconsiderate of his wife's feelings. He is always the one that screws everything up. That is just how it is.
It seems to be different in the movies, however, and perhaps that is because of the style of storytelling that tends to work towards a resolution, both in events and character; whereas a TV show things tend to stay the same. At the beginning, the dad is someone to tied up into his work, ignores his family, and tends to pursue money as opposed to higher ideals. Let's look at the movies RV and the modern version of The Shaggy Dog.
In RV, the dad is having problems with his job, and he isn't exactly commanding respect from his kids. He finally faces a dilemma near the end of the movie, in which he has a choice of commercial success or staying true to his values.
In The Shaggy Dog, the dad is similar, but more extreme. He is pursuing success in his job, but all the while somewhat neglecting his wife, and he is not involved in his son and daughter's lives whatsoever. The son is pretending to play football to make his dad happy, while secretly practicing for a play. The dad, Tim Allen's character, is at odds with his daughter concerning a clash of values. When the dad transforms into a dog, however, he gets a sneak peek into his children's lives. He transforms from a workaholic dad to a great family man who shares the values of his daughter.
I think in movies and TV we may get a glimpse of the American Dad archetype (I suppose this could be any dad, but I really just watch American TV and movies). (I hope archetype is the right word, correct me if not) In the movies, he is a workaholic father and may only be involved in the children's lives to the extent that he urges them to get good grades or, in the case of a son, be a man's man and play football or the like. His primary concern is his career, and the family is really secondary.
Interestingly enough, the TV representation in some sense, is the opposite. Instead of being ambitious and successful, he has little motivation at all. We don't see this so much in the Raymond character, but in King of Queens, The Simpsons. But the attitude towards the family is still not overwhelmingly positive. It is primarily one of indifference, although not the degree of neglect seen in the movies.
These are just observations I've made. In TV, there's not really much redemption concerning the father character; the father character is not motivated to be an active father, and he realizes that, and he accepts that, and the family accepts that. Movies are more positive, however, we see how some fathers are, but we also get a glimpse of how fathers should be. Men need to take note of these characters. Society wants fathers that are not tied up in their job, who love their wives, who are involved in their children's lives beyond the disciplinarian role, and who shares values that aren't compromised by the outside world. I think God wants the same thing. I would add this though. At the same time, I believe the wife/mother has a responsibility to ensure that the dad is still respected, even if he is not perfect. But the overall message is clear; be there for your family, don't just be the breadwinner.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Love isn't all you need
In my Sunday School class we are going over the Love and Respect series by Emerson Eggerichs. The idea of the series is that it focuses on a key verse on marriage in the Bible from Ephesians 5:33:
Women should love their husbands, and husbands respect their wives, but the idea is that women are naturally loving, and men are naturally respectful, so they may not tend to give their spouse exactly what they need.
The idea of what respect looks like is less certain than love, at least to me and many others. Some people, such as myself, believe the husband is the head of the household under Christ, and part of this respect is a recognition of that position. But even if you tend to be more liberal in thought regarding family structure, you could still appreciate the idea of respect, in that a husband wants to be admired and not looked down upon. I think men want to be treated in a way that say, other people at work treat him. I was with a group of guys once at a former church, and one of their complaints about their wives was that at times they talked to the men, they talked to them in a disrespectful way that other men wouldn't dare talk to them.
I just wanted to touch on this idea a little bit. This doesn't mean that women don't deserve respect and men don't deserve love, I just believe this verse just focuses on needs of our spouse we tend to overlook. And respect doesn't mean the man can never be challenged or called out if he does something wrong; people have taken this idea to the extreme and made respect equate with control. At the same time, we are also a love-saturated society. The idea of respect is often not talked about. Love isn't all you need.
Nevertheless, each one of you must also love his own wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.As most marriage books/videos do, the series talks about the need for a husband to love his wife, but it also focuses on another key aspect of a successful marriage - that a wife respect her husband.
Women should love their husbands, and husbands respect their wives, but the idea is that women are naturally loving, and men are naturally respectful, so they may not tend to give their spouse exactly what they need.
The idea of what respect looks like is less certain than love, at least to me and many others. Some people, such as myself, believe the husband is the head of the household under Christ, and part of this respect is a recognition of that position. But even if you tend to be more liberal in thought regarding family structure, you could still appreciate the idea of respect, in that a husband wants to be admired and not looked down upon. I think men want to be treated in a way that say, other people at work treat him. I was with a group of guys once at a former church, and one of their complaints about their wives was that at times they talked to the men, they talked to them in a disrespectful way that other men wouldn't dare talk to them.
I just wanted to touch on this idea a little bit. This doesn't mean that women don't deserve respect and men don't deserve love, I just believe this verse just focuses on needs of our spouse we tend to overlook. And respect doesn't mean the man can never be challenged or called out if he does something wrong; people have taken this idea to the extreme and made respect equate with control. At the same time, we are also a love-saturated society. The idea of respect is often not talked about. Love isn't all you need.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
My increased appreciation for my wife, and other stay-at-home Moms
We decided before Levi was born that my wife would stay at home. We had tried for some time just to live solely on my income so that when she would stay home it would not be a big strain.
So, the baby was sick last week with a viral infection. Once he got over it, my wife got sick. When it is just the husband and wife, either person being sick is not a ton of fun. When my wife was sick in the past, I may have stayed home from work and took her to the doctor.
With a baby, this takes on a whole new dimension. For one, when the newborn is sick, it is not fun to hear him moan in pain from a sore throat; that is about the worst sound you can hear. When the wife is sick, that means I become the stay-at-home mom. I enjoyed my extra time with Levi. At the same time, I realize how much my wife goes through taking care of a newborn. I thought it was rough taking care of him all day for 2 or 3 days, so I can only imagine what my wife goes through doing it all the time. So, my appreciation for what my wife does every day is renewed. To all those stay at home moms, or moms in general, I salute you.
So, the baby was sick last week with a viral infection. Once he got over it, my wife got sick. When it is just the husband and wife, either person being sick is not a ton of fun. When my wife was sick in the past, I may have stayed home from work and took her to the doctor.
With a baby, this takes on a whole new dimension. For one, when the newborn is sick, it is not fun to hear him moan in pain from a sore throat; that is about the worst sound you can hear. When the wife is sick, that means I become the stay-at-home mom. I enjoyed my extra time with Levi. At the same time, I realize how much my wife goes through taking care of a newborn. I thought it was rough taking care of him all day for 2 or 3 days, so I can only imagine what my wife goes through doing it all the time. So, my appreciation for what my wife does every day is renewed. To all those stay at home moms, or moms in general, I salute you.
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